Five years ago, I sat on my therapist’s couch and told her I felt like I was drowning. “I feel like I’m treading water as fast as I can and I still can’t keep my head above water,” I told her. At that point I had four children in four different schools, which meant fourRead more…
This morning, I told the guy that I work out with twice a week that one of my main issues – okay, other than my penchant for wine and hankering for unavailable men – was that I am an under-estimator. “Calories, drinks, kids,” I told him, “I always just assume I have less of somethingRead more…
I knew that my 48th birthday yesterday was a something when it even seemed to give my father pause. I called him the day before to thank him for the gift he sent, and he mentioned my age and how the calendar on his computer had told him it was “Amy Byrnes’s 48th birthday” andRead more…
In theory, you would have thought I’d be happy they were leaving. I mean, I scored a lot of swag over the last few weeks as my next-door neighbors frantically cleaned out their house so they could pull up stakes and move to Hong Kong this past weekend. They needed to clear out for another family inRead more…
Here is the downside of going out nine times in ten days: you don’t really get a lot of stuff done. And while I’ve amassed about a book’s-worth of stories – oh my god, do I have some good stories – I can’t really write about most of them. I mean, you can call meRead more…
My two daughters came into my room this morning to find me lying on my bed, typing on my laptop. “Mom, are you wearing real clothes?” one of them asked, and she started to inspect the strange pleated pants I was wearing that I bought at Athleta recently and had really taken a cotton to.Read more…
It’s official: The end of the world is right around the corner. How do I know this? Because I just learned about a new show on VH-1 called Dating Naked, and if that is not a sign that civilization is about to implode, I do not know what is. I’ll be honest, I have notRead more…
“Okay, Mom,” said my 17-year-old daughter, totally out of the blue not long ago. “How ugly is this guy?” We had been lying around our den one afternoon – along with her older sister and best friend from across the street – laughing and chatting about nothing in particular, when she asked her question. IRead more…
Bummed you missed last week’s hot ticket? I know, I wish I went to see Beyonce at MetLife Stadium, too. And after you finish Googling videos of her performing “Single Ladies” and “Crazy in Love” in NJ last week, check out the show I put on in a slightly smaller Garden State venue. Here’s myRead more…
For the three of you left who haven’t heard the news, last week I got to pretend for one night that I was a successful writer. And it was great. Some friends had thought it would be fun to invite a bunch of people to come hear me read some of my work in hopesRead more…