Being True to Yourself


This print sits on my desk and is referred to often as I try to make sense of things in my life.

One day, during the early days of my divorce – when I lost 10 pounds in a week subsisting on wine and carrot sticks – I went to get my brows waxed (and mustache if you must know) and spilled my tale of woe to the woman grooming my facial hair.

Aside from my therapist, my brow and hair coloring ladies serve as important sounding boards for my life. I’ve been going to them both for so long, they knew me when I was a brunette with babies instead of the blonde-of-a-certain-age I am today.

So after I filled her in on what was going on, I laid still on her table as she tweezed away and talked. She explained that I had just entered a dark tunnel of my life, with no light yet visible on the other end. She said I could see the light from the entrance growing dimmer, but had to just keep moving forward and have confidence that at some point, I would see the light again.

I can’t tell you how often I thought of that tunnel metaphor as I moved through the darkness of my divorce. How often I wondered if I’d ever see the light on the other side and then, finally and without warning, I could see a little pinprick of sunshine coming through the other end.

As I sat up on her table, the paper crinkling as I adjusted myself, my brow girl reached down and pulled a silver cuff bracelet off her wrist and said, “I want you to have this.”

It read: Be true to yourself.

I read the words etched into the metal and as I slipped the thin bracelet on, became emotional as I told her how special it was. It became a part of my armor that helped me get through my darkest days and reminded me why I had to go through the pain and sorrow of divorce. It reminded me of whom I needed to be.

I wore that bracelet religiously for about two years – I never took it off — and then, one day, I returned the favor. I was with another woman struggling with similar bullshit and slipped the bracelet off and gave it to her to wear. “Be true to yourself,” I told her.

Because I no longer needed to look down to be reassured by those words. I had read them so many times that they had become etched on my own heart. I didn’t need a piece of jewelry to remind me I needed to honor who I am.

Who is, of course, some chick with nice eyebrows and no mustache, at the very least.




13 thoughts on “Being True to Yourself

  1. love this! amazing as always and brought me to tears!

    I have this print taped in many places throughout my house 😉

  2. Once again, thank you for describing EXACTLY what I went through. I felt as though I was in a dark tunnel, and that I would never get through it. Many friends told me I would come out on the other end of this dark, dark tunnel, but as you well know, when you are in the darkness, it is incredibly hard to imagine coming out the other side. I love the phrase “Be true to yourself” and I must keep that in mind as my journey continues. Thank you for reminding me!

  3. Thank you Amy! I am just entering into the dark tunnel and each day I struggle to find a glimmer of light that will get me through this horrible time. I have been blessed to have some amazing friends, one of which turned me onto your blog, that are carrying me toward that light when I can’t see it for myself.
    Be True to Yourself! I will remember it the next time I am searching for the light.

    • Oh, Heather. I am so sorry. All I can say is: keep moving forward and looking for that light on the other end. You’ll get there. See you on the other side … xo

  4. I love that you passed the message along. It’s amazing how we get “signs” just when we need them, and how some people just know when someone else really needs a kind gesture or words of encouragement.

  5. It has only been 5 mths since my x of 34 years and I have separated. He has somebody now and I feel that never mind seeing the light I cant even find the tunnel right now. But reading your blog is giving me hope. I just want it to be OK that I am single whether he has somebody or not. 🙁 thks for this blog. xxx

    • Darlene … wow, 34 years is a long time. But you WILL be okay. Enjoy not having anyone snoring in your bed and being able to watch anything you want on the television. There’s much to be said for having the freedom to do what you want, when you want to. You need time for you and healing. Make the most of it. So glad you found me … xo

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