Monthly Archives: October 2017

Oct
20
2017

Girls Weekend Getaway: North Fork of Long Island

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Continuing with tradition, my trusty Ladycation squad took a late-summer getaway to celebrate yet another 50th birthday in yet another off-the-beaten-path location.

Last year, we rented a fabulous Airbnb in Woodstock, NY and ate, drank and hiked our way around the Catskills. The motto of that trip was “Whiskey & Boys” and I have it embroidered on my wall to prove it.

The year before, we flew up to St. John’s in Newfoundland where we made lots of friends, danced to Irish music and kissed a frozen cod. The slogan for that trip was, “What happens in Newfoundland, stays in Newfoundland.”

This year’s birthday girl chose the North Fork of Long Island as our destination and we drove out one Friday morning in September for our three-night stay and got out there in no time, which is a bit of a miracle.

Okay, some thoughts about Long Island: I really love it. But if you’re not already on Long Island, it is a bitch to get to from New Jersey. The traffic can be daunting, trying to navigate your way around New York City.

But the North Fork is so special – especially after the summer crowd has left – I’d be willing to brave driving there during a Friday rush hour. It’s so worth it.

Geographically, Long Island kind of juts east towards the ocean, with the ends splitting into a fork. The bottom half is the South Fork (the Hamptons, Montauk) and the top is the North Fork (Greenport, Orient) and they are two different worlds.

As you drive towards Orient Point, at the end of the North Fork, you can feel all the space. Farmland for as far as the eye can see. Farm stands. It’s not honkytonk or touristy. Having lived in New Jersey forever, I’m impressed with how much undeveloped land remains out there. Undisturbed stretches of waterfront. Really beautiful.

We stopped for a late lunch at Case’s in Southold, which we found down a long road off the highway that didn’t seem right and just when we started to doubt our GPS, we saw the water and the sign for the restaurant. We sat outside on the patio looking out at the water and drank icy cold local rose and decided it couldn’t get any better. And then it did.

If I could have the honor of marrying the lobster roll that I ate for lunch, I certainly would. But that would mean I couldn’t have devoured every last bit of big mound of perfectly dressed lobster meat on the perfectly toasted top-split roll. At the end of the weekend, we all decided it might have been our favorite meal, of a lot of fabulous meals.

 BEST LOBSTER ROLL EVAH (look, I even had to take a little nibble out of it before I could take a picture of it)

 

Other weekend highlights included our perfect Airbnb in East Marion, our day spent driving around Shelter Island and gawking at all of the to-die-for houses and the all-rose vineyard in Southold that made up feel like we were sitting in the South of France.

I can’t imagine what staying in the North Fork would be like during the summer season, much less trying to get out there. I highly recommend a late summer/early fall visit when you can rub elbows with the locals and feel like you’ve kinda got the place to yourself. One caveat: getting Uber or Lyft rides was a little dicey and another reminder that we weren’t in Jersey any more.

If you’re thinking of going, here’s what I recommend:

Stay:

Airbnb: Our rental was pricey but fabulous. It sleeps 8 comfortably with 4 bedrooms, so would be great for a few couples or families to rent. Stylish décor; all the amenities you could ask for and cool outdoor space to hang.

Breakfast:

Fork & Anchor (East Marion): Get the #15. It will change your life.

Love Lane Kitchen (Mattituck): We stopped here on our way home Monday morning. Totally charming. Awesome coffee. Put poached eggs on anything, I am a happy girl but on top of kale with avocado on the side and I just might start talking dirty to you.

Lunch/Cocktails/Nibbles:

Little Creek Oyster Farm & Market (Greenport): Unassuming set up on the dock in Greenport that’s pretty cool inside. Oysters. Rose. Cheeseboards. A little old xxx guy preparing it all who took a shine to me. On the menu, it says you can shuck your own oysters if you’re feeling adventurous, and one of our ladies asked the server, with a straight face, “Is it hard to shuck yourself?” which, as you might imagine, became the weekend’s catchphrase.

The Halyard (Greenport): We ended up here on Sunday night as a kind of consolation spot when we showed up to a nearby vineyard that had already closed and we couldn’t believe our good luck. Brand new. Insanely stylish. Perched on the sound. Killer sunsets. Ditto the cocktails. Would love to see what the rooms look like in the adjoining hotel and think dinner watching the sun set on the outdoor dining area would be beyond romantic.

Flying Goat (Shelter Island): At the Shelter Island Golf Club. Great place for cold local beers on tap and French fries after a morning hiking through the meadow (see below).

Four & Twenty Blackbirds (Orient): I don’t LOVE pie, but I would kill for this pie. All kinds to try. We had a savory pocket filled with mushrooms and a little cheese, a stone fruit number and a custardy baby pie. We sat at a table outside and said we were just gonna nibble and gobbled them all up.

Dinner:

Brix & Rye (Greenport): Another one of our top weekend faves. We stopped for pre-dinner cocktails and ended up staying to eat. A little dark and not a lot of tables but being there in off-season helps.

American Beech (Greenport): We sat outside on a very quiet night. Chic. Delicious food.

Noah’s (Greenport): Also chic and delicious.

To Do:

Croteux Vineyards (Southold): You would think that four women heading out to the North Fork of Long Island would mean that we’d being hitting up all the wineries but we only made it to one. If you can only go to one vineyard, I cant recommend this one enough. It really does feel like you are sitting in the South of France and the wine is delicious. Plus its owner, who was pouring the rose and working the register the busy day we were there, was super easy to look at. Plus, he was featured on Mo Rocca’s “Everything’s Coming Up Rose” piece on CBS Sunday Morning this summer.

Lavender By the Bay (East Marion): According to its site, one of the largest lavender farms in the country. Our Airbnb had baskets of dried bundles around the house lending just a hint of lavender to the room, so I knew I needed to go. Fun to walk around and just see all the flowers going on forever. Shop lets you buy it in all manner of shapes and sizes. https://lavenderbythebay.com/

Mashomack Preserve (Shelter Island): Covers one third of Shelter Island and run by The Nature Conservancy, the preserve offers a variety of habitats – fields, woodland, marshes and tidal creeks. What most struck me was the ingenious way that have woven technology into the experience. Along one of the trails there are stops with barcodes you can scan with your phone and listen to commentary specific to where you are. Not to mention, the scenery will knock your socks off.

Dam Pond (East Marion): Directly across the street from our rental, we mosied over to get one last look at the sound, which we did from atop a cliff at the end of a path. Cool.

Shop:

Old Orchard Farm Store (Orient): Charming little shop westopped into roaming around Orient, where I found two really awesome Christmas presents.

Mercantile North Fork (Greenport): Okay, the real reason we didn’t make it to the three vineyards we planned on hitting on Sunday was that we got sidetracked here, wondering how we could ship the entire store home to New Jersey.

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Oct
17
2017

What I Learned Folding Leggings

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I just completed my second – and final – stint working in retail and have a few takeaways that I think might benefit the public at large.

For a year, I was lucky that I got to spend a few days a week at an upscale athleisure emporium at my local, like, fancy strip mall, and I worked with pretty awesome customers. I enjoy giving other people my opinions, so lording over a dressing room while ladies tried stuff on was right up my alley.

But there were some head-shaking moments; situations where I’d find myself whispering, “Really?” to a fellow legging-folder.

One customer, who’d tried on pretty much half the store and had me running around trying to find her size in a few items — emerged from her dressing room holding a handful of items she was buying and said, “You’re gonna hate me.”

And I was like, “Stop! Go on! Have a nice day!”

As she walked away, I pulled back the curtain and thought, “I totally hate her.”

Half the store lay inside out and scattered all over the floor.

And don’t even get me started about having to lift those adhesive bathing suit pantyliners off the floor with paper towels. Woof.

So, who knows? Maybe I’d been guilty of committing some of the same crimes in the past before I knew any better. My youngest daughter certainly thinks I have. Consider this my mea culpa. Shoppers, please take note:

  1. Clean up after yourself.

Seriously, ladies, I already have four kids and am way too old to be cleaning up after you. Don’t leave clothes inside out on the floor or piled on a chair. I’m not saying you need to hang them up perfectly to go right back out onto the floor, but putting things back on hangers is a basic courtesy. Like using the chicken wing when you sneeze. People working retail are not getting paid enough to coddle your body dysmorphia (see #3) and clean up after you. Not even close.

  1. Keep your hands to yourself.

I understand the urge to touch stuff when you’re shopping. I’m big on that, too. But if you’re looking through a pile of, say, t-shirts, for your size and a salesperson asks if she can help find if for you, for the love of Christ say “yes.” She is not asking to be nice. She is asking so that she doesn’t have to re-fold the entire bloody pile after your tornado hands have moved on. 

  1. Stop feeling bad about yourself.

I have logged enough hours standing in a dressing room to say, with confidence, that most women hate their bodies. Or at the very least, certain parts of their body. This goes for women in amazing shape as well as a 91-year-old gal I helped not long ago who fretted over her upper arms. Ladies! Let’s just be happy we’re here and can afford to shop for athleisure wear! Honestly. The good news is that it’s made me super-aware of when I start to do that stuff myself. Please smack me if you hear me complaining about my midsection.

  1. Gentlemen: don’t harass legging folders.

To the old coot who recently suggested I pull up my shirt as I helped him pick out a couple of outfits as gifts, this is not 1977. That is no longer the culture. Just ask Harvey Weinstein. I just wish I hadn’t been so shocked when he said it that I was unable to call him out for being a scuzzy old pig. Instead, I finished helping him shop and then threw the stuff on the checkout counter — where someone gift wrapped it for him — and ran to the back of the store.

  1. Everyone should work in retail or the food industry at some point in their lives.

This will teach us all how not to be jerks when we’re out to eat and buying stuff.

  1. It’s just yoga pants.

The best part of the job was that I got to work with great women of all ages, who I slowly got to know (through my sly interrogation techniques) and learned that they were so much more than legging folders. They were studying for the LSATs or going to school to become registered nurses or working full-time in the city or auditioning for acting roles or running busy households and shuttling kids to colleges and sports tournaments. In other words, legging folding was just something they were doing on the side. I’m going to miss their company.

It was fun while it lasted but working nights and weekends started to get challenging with just a 14yo boy and a puppy left living at home. Plus, I got tired spending all the money I made on clothes. It felt like I was bartering my time for Salutation tights (although they are frigging amazing).

So, I’ve decided to commit to my writing and freelance jobs full-time and now I have drawers full of leggings and sweats to stay cozy for this new phase of my life. As do my daughters and friends.

My work here is done.

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Oct
13
2017

Friday Faves: Stuff I’m Legit Obsessed With

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Let me just say that when I like something, I really like it. That holds for wine, Game of Thrones and certain ex-boyfriends. Oh, and outerwear. Can’t get enough outerwear.

Lately, I’ve been hot for a bunch of things and it goes without saying that two of them are Seed to Sprout’s Kimchi Rice Bowl (which I’ve eaten from lunch and dinner twice this week) and the pumpkin spice blend at Rook (which is where I’m headed when I’m done writing this). Need. Every. Day.

My kids are ob-sessed with these two condiments from Stonewall Kitchen (which we get at Sickles), which they slather on anything that’s not moving (watch it, puppy!).

Last weekend, my older daughter and I made took some coupons and made our fall pilgrimage to Bath & Body Works for our favorite candles. And even though it hasn’t been really autumnal here until today, that hasn’t kept me from burning this candle 24/7. It just makes me happy and smells better than the lingering stench from my 14yo’s football pads (honestly, that is a seriously smelly sport).

One of the fun things about working at my local athleisure emporium is digging through the online returns bin and finding a pair of shoes (since we don’t sell them in the store). I hit pay dirt recently and found these babies and wear them, literally, every day. Right there, I used the word “literally” in the right context. They are beyond comfortable, match everything and I get compliments galore. I am usually an 8 but my score was an 8.5 and even though the baby manager at the store cursed me for stealing them out from under her, her young feet don’t have the same concerns as my aging tootsies. Plus, they fit great. Buy them and then please write me a thank you note. Or send wine.

Oh, if you’re feeling fat like me and trying to be really good — I mean, really really good — here’s a teeny snack that I nibble on at night and it hits the spot and one bag in a mere 2 grams of sugar, which my friend Dan says is okay if you can’t live without sugar. Which I can’t (sns).

At the end of the summer, my oldest bf (this is not literal) came to visit for the weekend and proved that she is nothing if not a good friend. While I was at work folding leggings one afternoon, she drove around and kept herself busy and when she picked me up, handed me a bag from Lowe’s with a yellow plastic gizmo to unclog my shower drain. After a summer of both my girls home a lot, the shower in my bathroom would fill up like a tub in minutes. I told my pal and she took matters into her own hands. We got home and I was like, “I’m gonna go shove this down the drain,” and she was like, “I’m right behind you.” I unscrewed the drain and jammed the long thing in and gave it a twist and started to pull it back up. When we recovered from the horror that emerged from my shower drain — months and months of hair and soap scum — I asked my friend if she would describe it as the size of a baby squirrel. “No, that was a full-sized squirrel,” she said. Anyway, it’s a horrible reality (and I didn’t even go into the smell that burped its way out of the drain) but a magical way of dealing with it and way cheaper and safer than pouring gallons of Drano down there.

Finally, I am sorry to report that managing my facial hair has become a thing. Or, maybe it’s always been a thing but my uber-magnification mirror has just brought it to my attention. I mean, it’s not baby-squirrel bad, but still. At any rate, I tried scraping it all away for a while with this little gadget. But honestly, it kinda breaks after a few trips around my jawline. So this week, my brow lady suggested I buy this here doohickey and it’s battery operated and makes quick work of my de-whiskering. Am trying to lure aforementioned 14yo into the bright light of my bathroom so I can go to town on his new manly facial fuzz, which gives my beard a run for its money. It’s definitely baby-squirrel sized amount of fuzz I think.

As always, please feel free to share what’s changed your life lately. God know I’m open to any and all possibilities.

I’m hella ob-sessed with getting you to sign up for my latest posts. They’re sent right to your inbox by typing your email into the box below and new posts will arrive without you having to remember to look for them. Everything should be this easy. You can also follow me on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.