I didn’t need Al Roker, shivering outside in Rockefeller Plaza this morning, to tell me on this last day of winter that this has been one of the snowiest seasons on record for those of us here in the Northeast.
I’ve got the five extra pounds and tight jeans to prove it.
According to USA Today, this has been one of the 10 snowiest winters for the New York City, Philadelphia, Chicago and Boston areas, and I will be happy to hang up my trusty shovel and bid adieu to the wretched season.
I did find it interesting that this has not been one of the coldest winters on record in the region, given that I’ve spent most of the last few months cranking the thermometer up to 72 degrees in the house and curling up in a chair next to the fireplace to work. Perhaps I am becoming a cat.
But overall, it’s only the 34th coldest on record, with Winter 2009-10 averaging even colder temperatures. I guess last year’s balmy winter made us all soft.
And so, even though it means we are one step closer to summer break and all of its ensuing implications — like no school and bathing suits — I am not very sorry to say good-bye to winter this year. Herewith, a list of things that can kiss my ass:
- Snow
- Shoveling said snow.
- Fighting with my children about shoveling said goddamn snow.
- Snow days.
- Delayed openings.
- Phone calls at 4:30 a.m. regarding said delayed openings.
- College winter break.
- Entering a room to find college kids on couch watching Criminal Minds/Breaking Bad/Dr. Who/Arrested Development/Walking Dead/The List Goes On.
- Skin the color of my kitchen moulding.
- The Polar Fucking Vortex.
What won’t you miss when we officially say “hello” to spring tomorrow? Tell me in the comments section below.