I Would Not Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

I may be undead but at lease my hair looks good.

I may be undead but at lease my hair looks good.

Dudes, the news is not good.

On the cusp of tonight’s season finale of The Walking Dead, just prior to learning what terrible fate awaits Glen and Maggie (you know last week’s reunion was a wee too happy for that show) and what weird shit is going on at Terminus (because you know if something seems too good to be true on that show, it usually is), I discover that my own fate in a zombie apocalypse is in peril.

It turns out that in a ranking of all 50 states and the District of Columbia for likelihood of surviving a zombie threat, New Jersey ranks at the very bottom. THE VERY BOTTOM. Even below Mississippi.

I find this news rather terrifying.

I even thought I did my part in preparing for a sudden zombie uprising by learning to shoot a firearm not that long ago. I kept joking with one of the gals who was part of the group, another Walking Dead lover, about how we were going to rock the zombie apocalypse. There was even a zombie target we could have bought in the pistol range’s shop.

Maybe we should have learned to shoot crossbows instead.

Anyway, I really want to urge all my fellow New Jerseyans to get their shit together so we can survive whatever havoc brain-eaters bring to our state. I mean, we survived Snooki, right?

When I wasn’t obsessing over the zombie apocalypse this week, I had this to say:


Credit: Randjelovic.zzz

Credit: Randjelovic.zzz

This is What 47 Looks Like

“Why is everyone turning 50 this week?” my 11-​​year-​​old son asked yesterday and I have to say, it certainly felt that way this weekend.

I spent most of Sunday recovering from back-​​to-​​back 50th birthday parties the day before. On Saturday afternoon the kids and I helped our neighbor celebrate his milestone with a small group of friends and family and lots of pictures from various stages of his life. Later that evening I attended a surprise dinner at a local restaurant for a high school friend hitting the big five-​​oh with a mix of his old and new friends plus lots of red wine. (READ MORE … )


photo-15The ‘Conscious Uncoupling’ of Gwyneth and Chris

It can’t be easy being Gwyneth.

What with all the kale she’s got to juice, arms she needs to spin in circles with her friend Tracy the fitness guru and $350 Veronica Beard shorts she must ferret out for us to buy on her website, I don’t know where she finds the time to yell at her kids and watchTV like me. (READ MORE … )


photo-17That’s What She Said

So, lately I’ve drawn much of my inspiration for this blog from things going on in the news, mostly because there’s absolutely nothing going on in my life. Absolutely. Nothing.

It’s so bad that in the five-​​year memory book I try to write in at the end of every day, just a quick recap of what transpired in the previous 24 hours, I actually noted: Picked Nick up from karate. (READ MORE … )


photo-18Is it Cold or Allergies?

The worst part of feeling so lousy these last two weeks was not the hacking cough that actually caused me to vomit (I know, I’m sorry but it really happened) or the 90-​​minute wait for the five-​​minute exam with the nice, young doctor who quickly told me I had an upper respiratory infection and prescribed a Z-​​PAK. (READ MORE … )


Amy’s Week in Review (Nov. 11-17)

CBS-Sunday-Morning-590x442I love Sunday. It’s my favorite day of the week.

Before I worked full-time and the kids were still small and I was married and all that, I felt quite the opposite.

The weekends were an annoying and disruptive break in the somewhat peaceful kingdom I managed the other five days of the week. Schedules were thrown off, there were all these people underfoot and I just couldn’t wait for Monday to come and get everyone back to work and school and out of my hair.

But now that I’ve got some place to be on Mondays as well (well, virtually) and everyone’s a little older (not to mention far fewer living here all the time), Sunday is literally my day of rest. If I can, I try to cram all the food shopping and annoying weekend errands into Saturday so that Sunday can be completely indulgent.

I’m all about that.

I usually wake up around 7 a.m. to start the day. Which, apparently, is really weird because when I was away with my college girlfriends last weekend, the alarm that I set for weekends went off on my phone at 7 one morning and my friends were like, “WTF?”

But I want to make the most of those days off from work and the usual spin of things. Especially on Sunday. I want to squeeze every minute that I can out of the usually schedule-free day.

And it’s not like I’m curing cancer or anything over here. I mostly lie in bed and read the paper and peruse whatever other reading material has been piling up next to my bed over the week. And coffee is always involved.

Now that I have the blog, I’ve added a new wrinkle to my Sunday routine with the need to post this review of things. It’s like my weekly public service announcement. Sure, I could write it in advance but sadly, I am a born procrastinator and just couldn’t imagine doing something like that.

So here I am.

My favorite TV shows bookend the day as an added bonus — with CBS Sunday Morning to start and The Walking Dead at the end. I am all about Charles Osgood and zombies.

In between, I’ll slowly start to prepare for the week ahead. Probably in a week or two, as the holiday drumbeat starts to thrum a little louder, the ease of my Sundays will be replaced by shopping and checklists.

God help us.

But let’s not go there yet. Let’s enjoy one of the last quiet Sundays of 2013 and if you, like me, find yourself with some free time today, let me tempt you with some posts you may have missed in all the hustle and bustle of your week:


In case you hadn’t heard, last weekend was quite the busy one for me as I reconnected with my college chums to eat and drink our way through the East End of Long Island (with a brief pit stop in Brooklyn for good measure). We laughed a lot and remembered what drew us together all those years ago. I also learned something about myself along the way:

IMG_7658The Girls

Between us, we have 19 kids, 9 weddings, 3 ex-​​husbands, 2 boyfriends, over 25 years of memories and a lot of opinions.

Since we met as students at the University of Delaware in the mid-​​80s, our gang of 8 friends has come a long way from our days of sitting around dorm rooms and sorority dens in oversized Forenza sweaters and big Jersey hairdos, telling each other what to do. (READ MORE … )


One thing I learned over the long weekend with my college girls is that I am a fucking bore.

photo(73)3 Hazards of Becoming an Over Sharing Blogger

I am learning, in the almost-​​year that I’ve been doing this, that being a blogger is kind of weird. Like, you need to be okay with people knowing your business. I mean, you have to be really comfortable with the idea that a few of the people you’re standing in line with at the deli counter know you like to drink wine in bed at night or that your son’s teacher has read that your child sometimes has impulse control issues. It’s probably not great that she knows you’re drinking in bed either.

Luckily, I am totally cool with all of this. (READ MORE … )


Finally, I want to thank all of the good people that “liked” me on Facebook last week and pushed the page over the 400 mark. It’s really fun watching the audience grow in pockets as friends of my friends start to follow along. It’s totally the Fabrege shampoo commercial (and so on, and so on).

And don’t forget boys and girls, you can sign up to get new posts emailed straight to your inbox. You don’t even have to find me through Facebook.

Just fill your email address in the “Subscribe to blog via email” box, which is to the right of this post if you’re on your laptop or if you scroll way to the bottom if you’re reading this on your phone. Just keep scrolling, it’s there. Fill in your email address and then go to your inbox where an email will be waiting that you need to open to confirm your subscription.

Is that easy or what? (winky face)