This summer, there have been times that it’s felt like the whole universe has been conspiring to get me back here, to my dusty old blog. There have been some moments it’s felt as if the Blog Gods have grabbed me by the shoulders and given me a good shake before asking, “Amy, wtf areRead more…
Tag Archives: kids
Post Traumatic Stress
Hello, my name is Finn. I would like to lick your feet, eat some sticks and poop on your floor. I have a new baby in the house. As such, I’ve been getting up at the crack of dawn, adhering to feeding and pooping schedules and wearing a lot of sweatpants. I’ve also been strugglingRead more…
Volunteer Rehab
My little guy and I were talking about something the other night when he turned and asked, “Mom, why don’t you ever volunteer for anything for me?” “What do you mean, dude?” I asked, knowing full well what he meant. I could smell where this conversation was going. “You, like, never help out at myRead more…
My Hong Kong Trip, Part One
In the ten days or so since I returned from my spring break trip to Hong Kong, I have experienced the following: searing jet lag; a day-long road trip to visit my father who lives a two-hour drive south; lunch and a visit with my mom who lives much closer; the theft of my purseRead more…
How Not to Be a Jerk
I can’t say I was really happy yesterday morning when I got in my cold car around 7:30 to drive an hour and 45 minutes north to go skiing. In fact, when I saw my girlfriend later that morning on line to take the gondola up to the top of the mountain, I told herRead more…
The Beginning of the End
Sometimes, the moments strike when you least expect them. Right when you’re sitting there, in the third row of the high school auditorium chatting with another mom while both your daughters, now seniors, sit onstage and wait to be inducted into some honor society that will look good on their college resumes. You’re sitting andRead more…
Insulting Things Said to Me Over Dinner
“Hey Mom, quick question,” said my 11-year old son last night as we were sitting down to a late dinner, “but, can you still have babies?” I paused shoveling the forkful of quinoa-stuffed pepper into my mouth, looked at him and said, “Uh, yes.” “WHAT?????!!!!!” he responded, apparently amazed that such a miracle could occur toRead more…
Listen to Your Mother. Thank You.
This is what I am fucking sick of: People with opinions. Not you. You can have all the opinions you want. I mean, I’d prefer it if you kept them to yourself — especially if you watch a lot of Fox News — but I am open to people having beliefs other than my own,Read more…
The ‘Shizzness’ of Being a Mom
It happened at the stroke of midnight, just a few hours ago, the vanishing of one of my two remaining teenagers. In the blink of an eye and the tick of a minute hand, my oldest daughter turned 20 while I slept. She joined her brother, now 21, in what I guess could be categorizedRead more…
Mrs. X
When I was in the end stages of my divorce a few years ago and struggling with whether I should reclaim my maiden name, my college roommate advised against it. “What are your kids’ friends going to call you?” she asked, and went on to explain how her high school boyfriend’s mom was always Mrs.Read more…