Here is what I’ve learned in the 46 or so years I’ve been around: at the beginning and the end of every chapter of my life, there’s always me. Amy.
Growing up the oldest of eight kids did nothing to prepare me for raising four children of my own. Instead of paying attention to all the crying and dirty diapers at my mom’s house, I was busy worrying about the boy who would become my ex-husband some 25 years later and smoking cigarettes out my bedroom window.
But now, the whining and the diapers seems like a walk in the park compared to the challenge of raising teenagers. I’ve had a few intense years of parenting solo that have included conversations I never imagined possible when the kids were young and yummy, like why my son can’t get it on with his girlfriend in my basement and who vomited on a blanket stuffed in a drawer.
But the real challenge is the 10-year-gap I’ve created between the oldest three teens and their baby brother. On the one hand, I wonder what the hell I was thinking, carrying on about needing a fourth child. And on the other, I don’t know what would I do without him. He doesn’t have b.o., kisses me full on the lips out of the blue and shows me everything on his Instagram.
He’s the reminder for me of what the others once were, that link to a past that now seems so much easier; when the rules were more cut and dry.
We don’t eat in the basement. We always say thank you. We try not to poop in the tub.
But now we feel ambivalent about navel piercings. We don’t drink until we’re 21, unless we’re at a family wedding. And The Simpsons used to be off limits until Family Guy came along.
Adding to the excitement of finding beer bongs behind the shrubs in my backyard and apologizing to people after my new driver sideswipes a rearview mirror, has been the demise of my 20-year marriage.
So I’ve learned to scoop dead bunnies out of my pool and operate a cordless screwdriver and perform all the other dude jobs around the house quite handily, except mowing the lawn. I don’t mow. But man, can I carve a turkey.
There’s so much more to tell you about I don’t event know what we’re doing just sitting here blabbing. Come follow me and find out the rest of the story.