We breaded our cat. Thanks, Internet.

We breaded our cat. Thanks, Internet.

If I was good at keeping track of things, which we’ve already determined is not the case, I would probably find that I spend more time trolling Facebook each day than I do actually parenting any of my four children. I fall down so many Internet rabbit holes — clicking on headlines like, “15 Things No One Wants to Hear Men Complain About,” or “9 Excuses to Eat More Chocolate” — that sometimes I forget why I even went on Facebook in the first place (usually it’s to see if anyone has “liked” or commented on something I’ve posted).

So, in an effort to help you make better use of your own valuable time, I’ve done the leg work for you and culled what I think are the top 5 must-see links to help ease you into the weekend.

Don’t expect to be any smarter by the end of it, just slightly amused. Like me.

1. I can’t decide if this Hot/Crazy Matrix video is insanely misogynistic or just plain funny. Whatever it is, it makes me laugh my ass off. And in case you’re wondering, I am totally a unicorn. 

2. The kids and I saw Guardians of the Galaxy last week and it wasn’t until the end that I realized that Chris Pratt was the same chubby dude from Parks and Rec (“Duh, Mom,” says disgusted children). Officially love him and his version of the ubiquitous ice bucket challenge:

3. And because I have been very snarky about all that pouring of ice over heads, much to my children’s disgust, these Ice Bucket Challenge screw ups really made me laugh.

4. To be filed under “WTF”: A woman goes to the doctor complaining of stomach cramps and they find a 38-year-old baby skeleton inside of her. 

5. I am a sucker for videos with babies and puppies so this made me dream that I had a baby and bought it two kittens. Because that’s just what I need in my life right now, babies and kittens. My mind has officially become as vacuous as the Internet.

8 thoughts on “How to Waste Time on the Internet

  1. Love the hot/crazy matrix…my best friend and I now refer to each other as unicorns. If it wasn’t for PMS and the lack of a certain appendage, we’d be a trannies, because of hotness/non-craziness.

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