cheez-its: a love story

It wasn’t until my ex-husband moved out more than four years ago that my late night nibbling began. Until then, we’d finish dinner and maybe I’d have a bowl of ice cream with the kids (I was younger then and could get away with those kinds of things) and we would have eating wrapped upRead more…

Binge-Watcher

If you were wondering where I’d been lately and considering sending out a search party, you wouldn’t have to look too far. Throughout the holidays and now for hours each night after dinner, I’ve been sitting on the giant red couch in my family room watching the telly. In fact, I was watching so muchRead more…

Back to the Future

Here’s my wish for mankind: That when the zombie apocalypse has come to a close and the aliens land and try to figure out what the fuck just happened here on Earth, they don’t crack open the little safe on the floor of my closet and start reading my cache of journals for clues. It willRead more…

Eat Better (Yawn), Exercise Less (Yay)

When I was young, my strategy for fitting into my jeans was to exercise like a maniac most days. If I wasn’t drenched in sweat by the end of my workout and completely spent then I did not consider the effort a success. The were times in my life, when the kids were very smallRead more…

A Lot Can Happen in a Year

About a year ago, I was standing in my TV room with my two neighbors – good girlfriends – lifting weights over our heads when one of my pals started to cry. For about a year we’d been gathering at my house two mornings a week to exercise under the ever-watchful eye of our GirlRead more…

1 Year, 7 Months, 1 Day

One day last week, while I was being a good girl and minding my own business, I had a startling realization: I’m about to turn 50. Okay, not tomorrow. Or the day after that, even. But soon. In, like, one year, seven months and a day, to be exact. Which comes out to 19 months. OrRead more…

The Under-Estimator

This morning, I told the guy that I work out with twice a week that one of my main issues – okay, other than my penchant for wine and hankering for unavailable men – was that I am an under-estimator. “Calories, drinks, kids,” I told him, “I always just assume I have less of somethingRead more…

You Can’t Always Get What You Want

When I am dead, I would like the following engraved on my headstone: “She got what she wanted.” And while you might think that that is a really awesome thing, getting what one wants, I’ve learned over the last 40-blah-blah years that actually getting what you want is not all it’s cracked up to be. IRead more…

The ‘Conscious Uncoupling’ of Gwyneth & Chris

It can’t be easy being Gwyneth. What with all the kale she’s got to juice, arms she needs to spin in circles with her friend Tracy the fitness guru and $350 Veronica Beard shorts she must ferret out for us to buy on her website, I don’t know where she finds the time to yellRead more…